


Wrong House, Right Party

by What-s_Happened_Now (Scared_Beings_in_the_Dark)



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: First Time, M/M, beginning of relationship, meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 16:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16580447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scared_Beings_in_the_Dark/pseuds/What-s_Happened_Now
Summary: Howard goes to visit his friend in his new flat and ends up at the wrong house. But, is it really the wrong house?





	Wrong House, Right Party

**Author's Note:**

> Idea based off [a commercial](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-kSbqleCIY).

Howard stared at the door with growing horror. In all the years he’d know him, Lester Corncrake had been 1) blind and 2) completely unable to decorate. Having been invited to Lester’s brand new flat for a jazz party, Howard was expecting the usual fair: a blandly furnished living space and subtle jabs about how they were nearing the end of their usefulness to society.

Instead, he was faced with a door strewn in colorful streamers woven into a chain. From behind the closed door, he could hear the pounding bass of some souped-up punk rock anthem.

Had Lester changed their plans? It wouldn’t be the first time that had happened. Although, he’d never know Lester to like anything other than jazz and perhaps a jazzy song hiding in other genres.

Well. Here Howard was with a nice bottle of two-euro wine and a brand new record of Larry “Big Face” Edison’s greatest hits. He raised his hand to knock and the door flew open. A gorilla decked out in more of the streamer chains peered at him with thinly disguised disgust. Howard tried not to show fear. Really, though, a gorilla?

“All right, Bollo!” a cheery voice called, and suddenly a waif with luscious black locks and wide blue eyes appeared by the gorilla’s shoulder, leaning over it to study Howard with an intensity he was entirely unused to. Howard couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman and he wasn’t sure if he minded.

The creature was lithe, thin, pale, beautifully fragile looking with a strength hidden behind the easy smile and appraising eyes. “Who’s this then?” they asked.

Howard juggled the record and the wine and stuck out his hand. “Howard Moon, at your service, sir.”

The gorilla blocked the creature from touching him. “Careful, Vince, you don’t know where he’s been.”

The creature—Vince—a man then—pulled away with a delightful laugh.

“Oh, come on, Bollo. He can’t be worse than most of the lot already here.”

Bollo inclined his head. “True,” he allowed. “Fine.” He stepped back to let Howard through. As he passed, Vince plucked the bottle from his hand.

“Brilliant this,” he said, immediately handing it off to another person. “Would you like anything to drink, Howard?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before handing Howard a tumbler full of bright red liquid. He took a tiny sip, finding it to be fruity, sweet, and generally unpalatable. Vince watched him and then swapped the cup for a glass of brandy.

“Cheers.”

Vince took him round the flat, introducing him to various other characters, none as enchanting as Vince himself before depositing him on a worn couch between a severe looking fellow wearing a wide brimmed fedora bedecked with a large feather and a lump of something pink whinging into a glass of the red drink.

“Howard Moon,” Howard said to the severe fellow, offering a hand. He tucked the record protectively under his arm. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Vince’s mates, but he didn’t trust them not to play Frisbee with the record or, heaven forbid, bite it. Howard’s run into some crazy characters before, especially downtown Camden.

The severe fellow took his hand gingerly. “Saboo.”

“Tony Harrison,” the pink blob butted in.

Saboo sighed in annoyance. “No one asked you for your name.”

“Yes, but it’s not fair that everyone else gets to meet everyone else. Naboo invited me. I should get as much chance as the next man to meet the guests.”

“You know what, Tony,” Saboo said, “you are an absolute berk. I’m going to get more juice. Care to accompany me, Mr. Moon?”

“Howard’s fine. Yes, I think I shall have a bit more to drink. Thank you, sir.”

Vince found them by the bar. He grinned at Howard as he hung off Saboo’s shoulder. “All right there, Howard?”

He nodded, swallowing hard at the way Vince curled into Saboo’s side. He wondered how it would be to have Vince touch him like that. Normally, he hated people touching him. How could he be this affected in so short a time?

“This is a lively shindig,” he offered through a parched throat. The music wasn’t terrible even if Howard could feel it in his chest. He wanted to spend more time with Vince, certain that all he needed to woo him properly was a few words and a kiss.

Howard shook himself suddenly. And what was he doing exactly? He was obviously at the wrong party. Lester was nowhere to be seen. Not to mention that Howard’d never had an inclination toward romance much less for a man before this night.

Vince smiled at him, leaning over Saboo to shout into Howard’s ear. “We’re going to play some party games. Are you in?”

“Sure.” Howard did not know what had gotten into him. He didn’t like parties or party games. Too much likelihood that someone was going to take the mick out of him.

“Brilliant,” Vince declared. “Come on then.”

Howard let himself be led to a room with a bed shoved to the side, blankets strewn over the cleared space, and at least a dozen other party goers crowded into a circle. Vince sank to the floor gracefully, pulling Howard down with him.

“Spin the bottle, eh?” a short man in a turban suggested. Howard was positive he’d been introduced, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember the man’s name. Banoo or something, he thought.

The man lifted the same bottle of wine Howard had brought. Surprisingly, or not, it was already empty.

“Yeah, all right.” Vince smiled at Howard. “You go first, yeah?”

A few of the other guests grumbled but no one stopped Howard from grabbing the bottle and giving it a good twist. At first he thought he’d done it wrong because it barely wobbled before turning towards Vince.

“Shall I try again?” he asked, hand already on the bottle.

“No,” Vince answered. “You spun it. Fair is fair.” He leaned in close to Howard, one hand coming up to brush over his face before their lips met in a light caress. Vince pulled away before it quite registered and Howard found himself disappointed.

“Your phone is going off,” the turban man told him.

“Right. Okay. Yeah. I’ll just go answer that then.”

“Bye, Howard,” Vince chirped, waving.

Howard waved too before making his way back to the front door. His phone wasn’t ringing anymore by the time he’d stepped out and he had a couple of missed calls from Lester.

Howard glanced back at Vince’s door and realised his mistake. Vince was in flat 9 and Lester was in flat 6, but Vince’s 9 had fallen and now was a 6.

Although he was not into parties, Howard found he very much wouldn’t mind returning to Vince’s party if only to collect the host’s number so that he could call on him later. Perhaps Lester would like to come with him this time too.

He felt a little bad about abandoning Lester for so long, but knowing Lester, he’d not minded.

In fact, the first words out of Lester’s mouth when Howard called him back were, “There’s a party at my neighbor’s. Wanna go have a good time.”

“At Vince’s, right? I’d love to.”

“How d’you know Vince?”

“Just met him. Lovely chap. Interesting friends.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure. Vince is friendly enough.”

“Well, I have an album for you and then we can go.”

Howard hung up and marched to Lester’s door, knocking briskly. Lester answered quickly and the record was stowed—carefully—and then they headed back to flat 9. Vince threw open the door right as Howard raised his hand to knock.

“Hey, Howard,” he said, cheerily. Howard was beginning to think that Vince didn’t have any other way of being, all sunshine trapped in this body, spilling out to grace those fortunate enough to be in his presence. “I was hoping you’d be able to make it back tonight.” He turned to Lester. “And who’s this?”

“This is Lester Corncrake. He lives just down the hall from you. He’s my friend.”

Vince didn’t say anything when he shook Lester’s hand.

Blind as he was, Lester still turned to Howard and said, “You were right, Howard; he really is lovely.”

Howard blushed, the redness in his face only outdone by the red glowing in Vince’s cheeks.

“You think I’m lovely?”

“Well,” Howard hedged. “I mean, I just met you and I don’t rightly know what to think of you.”

“Do you feel comfortable making an assessment?”

“I might,” Howard said. “That is, if we can continue what we were doing before?”

“You mean the snogging?” Vince smiled. “Yeah. We can.”

“Well then, sir, my assessment is that you are very lovely indeed and I wish to spend more time with you.”

Vince beamed at him. “Wonderful! Hey, Howard?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for coming back.”

“No worries, little man. For you, I will always return.”

Vince took his hand, squeezing gently as he led him into the flat and past all the staring eyes.

“Vince,” the gorilla called. “No STDs, okay?”

Vince blushed hotly. “I won’t,” he snapped. Softer, he added, “We’re just going to kiss a bit, yeah?”

The gorilla waved them off as he took a big draw on a modified hookah.

“He’s certainly protective of you, isn’t he?” Howard remarked as Vince led him to a different bedroom.

“Bollo can’t help it. He found me in the forest when I was little. My caretaker had gone off and left me alone. Bollo decided to care for me and we’ve been nearly inseparable ever since.”

“That’s a wonderful story,” Howard said, for lack of anything else to say. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” Vince threw open his door and gestured for Howard to enter. The room was sparsely furnished and it looked as if someone had cleaned recently. He could still smell the perfume of the cleaning products in the air.

Vince watched Howard silently before he motioned to the made bed. “Bollo and Naboo took away my clothes. Said it made me look messy in front of guests. Just because I had three piles on the floor.” He peered up at Howard through his fringe. “I guess you should know; I rent a room from Naboo and Bollo. Bollo’s now Naboo’s familiar. Naboo is a shaman.”

Naboo must be the turban man. It was familiar enough to Howard that he felt comfortable asking, “Is that why he wears the turban then, because he’s a shaman?” Howard patted the bed next to him. Vince perched on the edge. His hands fluttered like he wanted to play with his hair, but he dropped them before they could touch.

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

A few minutes passed in silence, and Vince studied his hands as much as he did Howard. “Are we going to kiss again?” he asked shyly.

In answer, Howard cupped his hands around his face, using his thumbs to stroke over his cheeks, brushing away nothing at all, before leaning in and pressing their mouths together.

If anything, it was even better than their earlier snog especially because it wasn’t over in three seconds. Howard smiled against Vince’s lips. Vince returned it readily.

“I know we just met,” he said, “but I really like you, Howard.”

“I really like you too, Vince.”

“Oh, Howard,” Vince pressed on his chest, leveraging a bit of space between them,” I should let you know: if you do this, if you get with me, fancy me like that, then you can never leave.”

Howard pretended to think about it before swooping in to kiss Vince again. “That’s quite all right,” he said. “I haven’t got anything on.”

“Brilliant.” Vince threw himself backwards, tugging Howard down onto him. “Absolutely genius.”

Howard agreed with that wholeheartedly and with plenty of kisses.

This was a wonderful, happy mis-happenstance and Howard wouldn’t trade it for the world.

 

~The End~


End file.
